DO YOU HAVE AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX?
IF NOT, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER DEVELOPING ONE:
- You are stupid.
- You are worthless.
- You are as undesirable as shower fungus.
- You are as pleasant as a deadly illness that slowly eats away at the brains of its victims.
- You are like the clod in the bottom of a carton of spoiled milk.
- You evoke the sense of frustration that comes from lending your hat to someone that has lice.
- Your life is like an unsharpened pencil - pointless.
- And the eraser doesn't work either.
- Don't worry, you're not ugly - you're just a hideous beast.
- You are like a halfpenny - you were once useful, but that was a long time ago.
- Carl is a dumb name.
- You are like a mermaid without a tail - you will end up at the bottom of the sea covered in barnacles.
- You are mediocre at everything except at being a prick - at that you excel greatly.
- You are like the gothic font on computers - everyone hates you.
- You are like Times New Roman - everyone uses you.
- You are like tapered leg jeans - stupid.
- You are like an actor on a made-for-TV movie - bad and ineffective.
- You are like a shiny bald spot - a beacon of hope only for small birds who want to loosen their sphincters.
- You are like a flea on a dog - insignificant but still annoying.
- You are like mustard yellow - you don't belong anywhere, except in mustard.
- You are like the color magenta - you don't belong in the rainbow, or anywhere else for that matter.
- You are mean.
- You make me sad.
- You are like a happy face with no smile - just two dots.
- You are like a highly flammable children's nightgown - you meet no standards.
- You are like a male exotic dancer, but you're not exotic or a dancer and you're only questionably male - what the hell are you?
- You are like footsie pajamas - everyone grows out of you in a year or less.
- You are like a donut with no hole - a hole-less donut.
- You are asinine.
- You are like a doggie toy - interesting only to babies and dogs.
- You are like a doggie bag - always left cold and ignored.
- You are like a radiator that blows cold air in the winter - you look inviting but everyone runs away once they discover your true nature.
- You are like a cold toilet seat - people scream.
- You are like the curling iron left on that burns down the house - people can't understand why they ever wanted you.
- You are like a dusty curtain - allergy-causing and blocking the sunlight we so desperately need in our universal time of darkness.
- You are like an Oreo with no creme filling - what the hell are you and why would anyone want you; you are useless, pointless, and dumb.
- You are like incredibly stale bread crust - even the birds will not peck at your desiccated form.
- You are like a clown.
- You are like a daily multivitamin - hard to swallow and some people choke to death on you.
- You are icky icky icky.
- You are like a doctor shining a light in every crevice - disgusting
- You are like a hummel plate on ebay - no one would want you (unless you were priced at less than two dollars).
- You are like Miss Wisconsin at the Miss America contest - always the loser (and ugly).
- You are like beer-flavored cheese - fat old guys devour you and everyone else stays away.
- You are inane.
- You are like coffee - bitter, not to mention the quickest beverage to mold.
- You are like a torn paper bag - everybody would rather get rid of you than try to fix you enough to make you worth saving.
- You are like Jasmine in the Disney animated feature Aladdin - where the hell is your belly button?
- You are like a civics/physics/government book - heavy, dull, full of many words, yet without any meaning.
- You are like a fortune cookie with no fortune - missing a necessary part.
- You are like a pez dispenser in which no pez fit - what the hell are you?
- You suck.
- You are like an uuuuuf.
- You are like a mathemagician - lame.
- You are like a sticky bun that's green - things like you never happen because you're nasty.
- You are like gold sequins - Dolly Parton and the Nashville music community are your only friends.
- You are like listening to the Backstreet Boys for three hours straight - life threatening.
- You are like blue M & M's - you replaced the tan ones, so everybody hates you.
- You are like blue "razzberi" flavor - what the hell are you?
- You are like a stiletto without a heel - flat and upsetting.
- No, seriously, I really don't like you at all.
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