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You are a lonely miserable old sod. You used to be a sucessful radical Quebecois seperatist until what shall only be known as the Ill-Timed Bomb and Priceless Garden Gnome Collection Incident resulted in your exile to west central Wisconsin. Alone and continually mocked on account of your French-Canadian accent and your strange affinity for Brylcreem, you try your best to avoid mental collapse.

The Sparkly Orbs Situation Then one day you wake up in your dingy apartment to find two seemingly magical sparkly tennis-ball sized spherical forms hovering over your left shoulder. They're kind of cute, actually. But they follow you wherever you go, floating eerily next to your ear, continuously giving you that annoying feeling that somebody is looking over your shoulder. They never leave you alone.

Consequently, your already tenuous hold on sanity begins to slip, and you decide that you should try to get rid of the sparkly spherical things. However, getting them away from you turns into a full time job: trying to lock them in closets when they aren't paying attention, letting elevator doors close on them, attempting to convince little kids to play a rousing game of "grab the sparkly ball and run as far away as you can with it." Nothing works - but you do seem to be making some progress, and you try to convince yourself that the orbs are looking increasingly "demoralized." However, you are more of a social outcast than ever, and most people refuse to talk to you (although this could still be because of the accent/Brylcreem/radical Quebecois stuff).

Even more important is that you're going to get fired from your job as a shelver at the public library if you don't stop wasting all of your time trying to rid yourself of the scary spheres. (Of course, this job is your only source of income, and due to all of the previously mentioned stuff about your weirdness, you're incredibly grateful for it.) So the situation is: do you risk a plunge into madness from the extremely annoying sparkly orbs and just hope they go away some day, or do you risk losing your job and keep trying to get them away from you?

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(Many thanks to Franz Kafka for the inspiration for this situation.)